


the eye of heaven shines

by ForestFiresong



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: M/M, idk what au this is but Everyone is Alive and Happy so it is definitely not evangelion, written for thehprevolution for ngenewyear on tumblr!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-05 02:12:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17316113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForestFiresong/pseuds/ForestFiresong
Summary: “Shinji-kun, you are the apple of my eye.”“...”“The light of my life, my only sunshine.”“...?”“If I were to compare you to something, a summer day might be too cliche, and our contemporary understanding of an angel not entirely accurate, but --”“Kaworu-kun, what are you talking about?”--Kaworu engages in the mysterious world of Lilin courtship rituals.





	the eye of heaven shines

**Author's Note:**

> happy 2019 everybody!! starting the year off with my very first evangelion fic ever (and rather than being super angsty like i thought, it's actually hella cheesy? oops) the title comes from shakespeare's sonnet 18, the famous "shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" very fitting accurate for these two imo

“Shinji-kun, you are the apple of my eye.”

“...”

“The light of my life, my only sunshine.”

“...?”

“If I were to compare you to something, a summer day might be too cliche, and our contemporary understanding of an angel not entirely accurate, but --”

“Kaworu-kun, what  _ are  _ you talking about?”

Shinji sets down the homework he'd been trying (and failing) to complete for the last twenty minutes. He often prefers to study in Kaworu’s room, half because Kaworu is there but half because pretty much everyone else  _ isn't,  _ but it does occasionally carry the occupational hazard of Kaworu being like…this.

“Oh, you looked up.” Kaworu smiles pleasantly, completely undeterred by Shinji’s former unresponsiveness. “I was trying…. what is it that you Lilin call it? Oh, right. I was trying some flirting techniques.”

Shinji blushes in spite of himself, in spite of the fact that they are  _ already dating  _ so Kaworu has no reason to flirt (and Shinji has no reason to let it affect him so much either); opting for the easiest course of action, he can only ask “Why?”

“Actually,” Kaworu says, propping himself up on one elbow. It seems to be his favorite position. “There was a book I found, when I was at your house the other day.”

“A book?”

“Yes. It was called,  _ The Five Steps to Woo Any Man.  _ Apparently it belongs to Katsuragi-san, but she said I could borrow it.”

Shinji recalls, quite distinctly, the way Misato had surrounded herself with a tower of beer cans and refused to get into bed until 1am, when he and Asuka had dragged her. There was something about Kaji, something about Ritsuko, but Shinji has stopped paying attention at this point. All he knows is that, apparently, leaving Kaworu and Misato alone is probably not a good idea, not even for the five minutes he left to go get snacks.

He wonders, distantly, where she even got that book.

“The first chapter was on compliments,” Kaworu says, and suddenly the book has materialized in his hand and is being waved above his head. “I decided to try out the ones they had in here, but Shinji-kun, you deserve every --”

“Kaworu-kun, you do know what ‘woo’ means, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“You don't need to….  _ woo  _ me. We're already…” Shinji has no idea what he's embarrassed by, after all this time, but as always, saying it out loud feels strange. “You know. We're a already dating.”

“Are you saying I shouldn't compliment you?”

“No, but --”

“I think I'll continue studying this anyways. Lilin mating rituals are so strange, after all.” and Kaworu's smile is uncharacteristically mischievous, making Shinji's heart skip. In both the good and the ‘slightly scared of what's coming next’ way. 

An eternal fifty/fifty with Kaworu. 

And so Shinji decides that it's time to take matters into his own hands. Abandoning his homework to the floor, he pulls himself up to Kaworu's bed and makes a grab for the book. 

Predictably, Kaworu dodges him, deftly switching it from one hand to another and then disposing of it  _ somewhere  _ \-- Shinji can't tell where because Kaworu also manages to grab him and pull him to his chest, locking him in a gentle yet simultaneously firm backhug.

“Nice try, Shinji-kun,” he says, in a way that suggests he's not planning on letting go any time soon.

Shinji finds that he's okay with that. 

* * *

It is barely two days later but Shinji has already forgotten entirely about the book and all of its contents. He has forgotten because Kaworu has done nothing to remind him -- at least until he comes home and there are flowers pushed into the mail slot and piled around the front door.

He pushes open the door and is greeted with bouquets, bunches of flowers tied with twine, vases overflowing with red and white and pink. Misato sits in the middle of it, looking bemused, while Asuka stands by the kitchen table, looking pissed. Penpen chews on a leaf.

When Shinji walks through the door, Misato gives him the look of a predator who has just landed on some juicy prey. The corners of her lips quirk up, and Shinji immediately backs away.

Of course, he's too late.

“Shinji-kun~” she says, voice raising sweetly, and Shinji shivers. “Why is it that ever since this morning, I've been receiving flowers all addressed to you?”

“Yeah,” Asuka says, plucking a flower from a vase and staring at it in disgust. “I'd like to know, too. Are these all from Ayanami? I didn't realize she was capable of having feelings.”

It's at times like these Shinji is glad he never told either of them about his relationship. It's not as though he has anything to hide, per se -- but he figures he receives enough teasing (from Misato) and verbal abuse (from Asuka) on a daily basis that he can be forgiven for wanting  _ some  _ privacy regarding his personal affairs.

And, of course, if Asuka paid him any measure of attention in school she might have figured it out -- because Kaworu is neither subtle nor willing to be -- but thankfully she has adopted a strategy of acting like Shinji is a stranger whenever she encounters him in a public place, which she sticks to unwaveringly.

As for Misato, Kaworu is just Shinji's friend. A friend with a total lack of personal space and a penchant to stare whoever he's talking to directly in the eyes, but a friend nonetheless.

They'll never have to know.

“It definitely wasn't Rei,” Shinji says, because honestly the idea is laughable. He begins gathering the flowers in his arms, but to his dismay, there are even more on the kitchen counter, and far too many to carry overall. “I think I know who it may be, though.”

“Who?” Asuka demands, but Shinji is out the door before she can pursue him further and luckily, there are too many flowers blocking her way to catch up. All he can hear is Misato's distant laughing (unaware that this is all entirely her fault, probably) and then nothing.

* * *

 

He finds Kaworu in the expected position: cradling a cat by the side of the road. As though he can instinctively sense him coming, he turns to face Shinji once he gets close, gently playing with the cat's paw.

“Shinji-kun!” he says, nearly beaming. “I see you received the flowers.”

“I… did…” Shinji says, speaking around the bouquet that nearly blocks his face. “Kaworu-kun, why are there so many…?”

“Red roses symbolize love,” Kaworu says immediately. “White carnations, pure love. Purple lilac, first love. Jasmine, sensual love. Forget-me-nots -- well, I'm sure you know. And white dittany is said to be an aphrodis--”

“Kaworu-kun!” Shinji shouts even though there's no one else around, and nearly drops the flowers in his haste. “Were you reading that book again?”

“The second chapter was on gift-giving,” Kaworu says, setting the cat down. It winds around his ankles and purrs. “Apparently men prefer fashionable watches or neckties, but flowers were another option. I thought you might prefer them more.”

“They're pretty, but… you must've bought the entire store!”

“I just wanted to communicate every possible meaning I could,” Kaworu laughs softly as though enjoying some personal joke. “It's fascinating how you Lilin assign an entirely new language to the weeds that grow around you. I find it charming.”

“I don't really get it myself, but…” the cat meows at him and Shinji pets it tentatively. “This is… the first time I've ever received flowers.”

“Did you enjoy it, then?”

It's just the two of them, so it's probably okay. Shinji nods, ever so slightly. “Yes….Thank you, Kaworu-kun.”

“I'm glad, then.” Kaworu smiles like the sun and Shinji's looks away, lest he be drawn in by Kaworu's annoyingly irresistible charm.

“All I'm saying is, don't go crazy because of what some book says,” Shinji tells Kaworu, glancing at him sideways. “I have no idea what we're going to do with all of those flowers, we might have to throw some away…”

“How about you return them to the earth?” Kaworu suggests as the two of them begin walking down the street. The stray kitten follows behind, mewing plaintively after them. 

“I don't know, the stems are already cut….” Shinji says, glancing behind them. The one kitten following them has multiplied into several, and Kaworu has practically a kitten army on his tail by the time they get to the end of the street. “You really attract them, huh?”

“They seem to like me, and I think they're cute.” Kaworu says, scooping another cat into his arms. “They remind me of you, Shinji-kun.”

Shinji looks away, embarrassed mostly because as cheesy as Kaworu is, he's also completely earnest, and he probably meant that when he said it. “I'd say that little white one looks more like you.”

“What do you say we adopt it, then?” Kaworu says, and Shinji knows he's probably joking but reacts instantly anyways.

“I don't think I'm ready to be a parent.”

Kaworu laughs at him as they walk in the setting sun.

* * *

 

Shinji has become pretty accustomed to not getting much time with Kaworu at school, despite the fact that they're in the same class and even sit relatively near to each other. It's not surprising; Kaworu, in the same vein as Rei, is intelligent, athletic, and handsome enough to warrant a significant amount of popularity, particularly from female members of the class, who don't seem to mind his occasional misunderstanding of human behaviors.

Shinji, on the flip side, enjoyed his most significant amount of popularity when his status as an EVA pilot was discovered, and since then has faded back into the background. And he's fine with just being with Toji and Kensuke; even if he's jealous of the crowd of girls that habitually surrounds Kaworu during lunch and break times, he's long since accepted the hierarchy at school. 

So he's more than a little surprised when during lunch Kaworu places a pair of chopsticks in his face and says, “Shinji-kun, say aaaah.”

“Kaworu-kun, what --” Shinji realizes a little too late that he shouldn't have asked, because Kaworu takes the opportunity to shove the chopsticks into his mouth, their contents unknown.

On instinct, Shinji swallows, and then gags as the taste hits his tongue, at once cloyingly sweet and then overwhelmingly salty. Kaworu raises the chopsticks again -- it looks like he's trying to feed him some kind of omelet -- but Shinji makes sure to push them away before making inquiries this time. 

“Kaworu-kun, what are you doing?” Shinji asks -- despairingly, because he thinks he knows the answer already. 

“The book said, ‘the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.” Kaworu looks immensely pleased with himself as he holds up a bento Shinji had not noticed before, packed to the brim with brightly colored foods Shinji can't quite identify. “So I made you this.”

At this point Shinji is keenly aware of the looks Toji and Kensuke are giving him, from two desks away. They had initially resented Kaworu for his incredible success with the girls of the class, until Shinji had convinced them he had no interest in things like that -- and then they went on to bemoan that he was squandering his luck by going for someone “like Shinji”. 

Kaworu, for his part, had cheerfully proclaimed that any friend of Shinji's was a friend of his. 

Now the two of them are staring at Shinji in a way that suggests that they won't say anything at that point in time, but are planning on giving him an earful later. All he can do at this point is count his blessings that Asuka is across the room eating with the class rep and paying them no attention.

“I wasn't sure what you would like, so I tried a little bit of everything,” Kaworu says, pointing at each part of the bento box in turn. “I don't need to eat, so I'm not well-versed in these matters, but I tried everything myself and I think you'll like it.”

“Thank you, Kaworu-kun, this is….” Shinji examines the bento. It's true that it's much more substantial than the bread he was planning on eating instead (Misato wasn't really one for packed lunches) and, well, Kaworu is talented at basically everything else, so Shinji has no reason to doubt his cooking. That first bite was just a little strong -- it's probably fine. 

Still, he errs on the side of caution and goes for the safest option -- white rice. 

“Wait, Shinji-kun,” Kaworu says, tapping his chopsticks on the table. “Let me feed it to you.”

“Wait, wait, why do we have to --?” 

“That's what the book said to do,” Kaworu says, like the answer is perfectly obvious. “And I quite like the idea, myself.” 

“Kaworu-kun --” 

“What are you guys doing?” and without warning, Asuka is standing over their desks, arms crossed. “Half the class is looking over here like there's a dead body.”

Shinji is dismayed to realize that she's right -- excepting Rei, who is mercifully reading a book and paying them no attention like usual. The urge to run away is stronger than ever before.

“Nagisa, is this bento yours?” Asuka asks. She doesn't like Kaworu, and makes it abundantly clear. Shinji thinks they have quite possibly the least compatible personalities ever, and while Kaworu has never said a word about it, he suspects the feeling may be mutual. “I know Shinji can't cook like this.” 

“Yes, I made it.” Kaworu says pleasantly, disregarding -- or perhaps contributing to -- the tension in the air. “Do you want some, Asuka-san? I won't feed you, though.”

Asuka looks visibly scandalized, and Kensuke chokes on his drink in the background, though whether from surprise or laughter, Shinji's not sure.

“ _ Gross _ , I wouldn't want you to!”

“All right then,” Kaworu says, and he brings the chopsticks back up to Shinji's mouth. “All right, Shinji-kun --”

And at that moment, Shinji can see connections inside Asuka's head beginning to form, synapses forming an intricate web to his doom. Before she can even finish the sentence, “Wait, were those flowers the other day --” he has Kaworu by one hand and the bento in the other and is out the door before either of them can blink.

They end up on the school roof and in fashion truly unique to him, Kaworu is completely unbothered by Shinji's abrupt exit from the classroom. Instead, he just presses a hand against the fences surrounding the roof and remarks, “It's lovely at this time of day, isn't it?”

“Kaworu-kun…”

Kaworu turns to face him, the slight wind ruffling his hair slightly. No matter how disarming his smile is, Shinji is still in awe sometimes of how handsome Kaworu is -- for lack of a better word, angelic.

“I'm happy you're doing all of this for me, but…” Shinji sits down on one of the benches, placing the bento in his lap. “It's just, you know, doing it in front of everybody…”

“Lilin are very concerned about privacy,” Kaworu remarks, settling down on the bench next to Shinji and leaning back on his palms. “Is that why you wanted to be up here alone?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, if you'd rather be more private, then I'll do my best to be that way too. Because I want you to be happy, Shinji-kun.” and he's so sincere it makes Shinji's chest tighten a little -- but in the good way. The way only Kaworu can do.

“With that said…” Kaworu picks up the chopsticks again. “There's no one else here, so is it alright if we pick up where we left off?”

And as embarrassingly lovey-dovey as it is, Shinji would be a liar if he said this exact scenario hadn't occurred to him at least once, in the form of distant fever dreams, probably, but nonetheless -- and so he agrees. 

And actually, it tastes pretty good. Of course, Kaworu couldn't screw up plain rice, and it's actually impressive how many little fruits and vegetables he managed to cut up into cute flower shapes. A couple onigiri, some bamboo shoots, a little bit of Hamburg steak -- the only part that tastes odd is the rolled omelet, which Shinji chews and swallows with reservation. 

“Kaworu, what's  _ in  _ this?” he asks when he's done. Moreover, what kitchen did you use and where did you get these ingredients -- but Shinji keeps those to himself, for now. 

Kaworu thinks for a moment before responding. “Tomatoes, mushrooms, ginger, lemon peels, some pumpkin, soy sauce --”

“ _ Why?” _

“The book said omelets benefited from variety.”

And before Kaworu can feed him another piece, Shinji leans over to kiss him. Partially to protect his stomach for later. But also because, well, being alone together has its benefits sometimes. 

* * *

 

“Shinji-kun.” They're staring outside the door of Kaworu's room in NERV headquarters and Kaworu is looking uncharacteristically serious. “I gave some thought to what you told me yesterday.”

“What was that, again….?”

“You wanted to keep things more private between us.” and then suddenly Kaworu's waving that damn book around again, like he always carries it in his back pocket or something. “So, the next chapter in here was about physical affection.”

Shinji suddenly feels all the heat in his body rush to his… face. Kaworu can't mean -- definitely not, after all, they've showered together and shared the same bed and it's just been kissing and hand-holding, up to this point. Kaworu's not even human, there's no way he'd have an interest in  _ that,  _ probably just saying “the things you Lilin do for reproductive purposes are so strange” --

...but, so far, he's followed the book's instructions thoroughly, and maybe it's time -- it's finally time -- and Shinji doesn't think he'd be opposed --

And as all of this goes through Shinji's head, Kaworu takes his face in his hands and kisses his forehead, cheeks, and nose in turn. Then he takes his hands and kisses his palms, and then each of his fingers. 

Shinji actually starts crying. 

“I'm sorry, did you not like it?” Kaworu says, looking legitimately distressed. “I thought it might be more intimate --”

“No, it's fine,” Shinji says, because he doesn't know how to articulate that “no one has ever touched me that tenderly in so long and I don't know how to react” without delving into personal problems that have been buried so long it would be unwise to uncover them. He wipes at his face determinedly. “It's just… not what I was expecting.”

“You were disappointed?”

“More… surprised.” 

Kaworu touches his cheek lightly. “I apologize. What should I do instead?”

“Well… if you would try it again, I might know what to expect this time.”

Much, much later, once they've returned to Kaworu's room, Shinji decides that this is his favorite chapter of that book to date. 

* * *

 

It's been about a week, and Shinji is starting to get curious. The book which Kaworu had been following so religiously was titled  _ The Five Steps to Woo Any Man.  _ And yet only four steps have occurred, at least to his knowledge so far. With how enthusiastic Kaworu had been, he wonders why the sudden stop -- and then chastises himself for even expecting anything when he's done nothing to deserve it. 

Still, it remains on the back of his mind until one day they're all walking home from school, Toji arguing with Asuka and Asuka trying to argue with Rei, when Kaworu takes Shinji by the arm and pulls him back.

“There's something I want to show you,” he says, cryptic as usual, and then starts walking in the opposite direction of home, going fast enough that by the time anyone could notice their absence, they're already down the hill and several streets away.

They end up traversing a part of the city Shinji is not familiar with, and his curiosity only grows as they leave the more populated areas behind and begin wandering through abandoned and rundown buildings, surrounded by the wreckage and detritus of the old world.

Just when Shinji thinks Kaworu must be either lost or seriously misled, he stops them in front of the ruins of a church, identifiable by the blown-out stained glass and miraculously still-standing pews. Most remarkably, though, is the piano sitting in the middle of it all, somehow still unblemished and in perfect shape, despite its dilapidated surroundings. 

“Here, sit down.” Kaworu says, and Shinji sits next to him on the piano bench, admiring the faint glow of the ivory keys in the low light, untouched even by dust. He runs one finger across the smooth surface.

“The very last chapter of the book was a difficult one,” Kaworu says, resting his hands on the keys but not playing a note. “All it said was, share what you love.”

“That was it?” 

“Yes. But when I thought about it… well, I realized I didn't know enough about Earth to really have anything I loved that much. Just you. But that doesn't really work, right?”

“No, I guess not…”

“But then I remembered,” and Kaworu breaks into a radiant smile. “The Lilin's best invention is music. So I thought that we could share that.”

Shinji's breath catches in his throat, a bit, and he has no idea what to say. It's a simple gesture but somehow there's some gravity to it, some incredible significance to something so small. He realizes, deeply and probably with much delay, just how much Kaworu has been thinking of him all this time.

Like he understands what Shinji's thinking, Kaworu doesn't wait for a response, and instead places his hands on the keys and plays a few notes. Graceful and deliberate, this, like everything else, seems to come easily to Kaworu. Shinji recognizes it as Beethoven, but knows little else.

When the song finishes, all Shinji can say is, “That's beautiful.” For some reason Kaworu's playing makes him choked up, but in a good way. Always in the good way.

Kaworu glances at him sidelong like he wants to say something, but for once opts not to. Instead he takes Shinji's hand and lays his fingers lightly on the keys. 

“I thought we could play a song together,” he says, and taps out a few notes. This one Shinji recognizes -- Ode to Joy.

The song Kaworu was singing when they first met. 

“It's relatively simple, even for beginners.” Kaworu says. “I can teach you the notes.”

“I'd like to learn, but….” impulsively,  Shinji rests his head against Kaworu's shoulder. “Could you first do another song for me? I like to listen to you play.”

“Of course,” Kaworu says, and he places his hands down again. Shinji listens and thinks how ridiculous this all is -- the book and the steps and everything. Kaworu never needed any of that. He had his heart from the beginning.

Above the sound of the piano, Shinji's not sure if Kaworu will hear his whispered “I love you”. But he must have, because he smiles ever so slightly and begins to play another song.


End file.
